CONTEMPORARY THOUGHTS MEET TRADITIONAL VALUES

The Diminishing Tradition of Pickle-making

2008-11-17T13:00:00.001-08:00

Each family has some special things that are passed on from one generation to the other. Be it heirlooms, grandma's stories, family secrets or delectable recipes. Talking about food, when discussing with friends yesterday, we all realized how there are some recipes that might not be a part of our generation.
For instance, pickle and condiments. Our mothers laboriously toiled literally for days on end to make the most delicious pickles. They would make several different types of pickles - from shredded mango to pieces of mango, making and sweet, sour and spicy pickle. To add to that, the enthusiastic mothers also made different types of lemon pickles and many more. Anyone who has grown up in India will know that it used to be a project for the women of the family to sit and peel all mangoes, then cut them of almost the same size, leave them in the sun to dry for some time. Some other steps included mixing these pieces or shredded mango in the syrup, tying with a cloth and putting them in the sunlight for the sugar to melt.
The pickle was ready to eat two to three days after it was prepared and transferred in large jars. And this pickle would last the family for an entire year. To come to the point, some mothers still go through this laborious task of making pickle or achaar as it is called in Hindi. Some mothers don't if they have an empty nest at home and they have no one who would relish the pickle anymore. Some mothers make it despite having an empty nest. They would send it to their sons and daughters in other countries and give it to their relatives or friends. While talking yesterday, it made me curious as to how many children of my generation actually know how to make pickles. I am quite sure that if we were given just raw mangoes and some spices, we would not know how to proceed with it. It is a tradition that will not be carried forward for a very long time. There are several reasons for that. One is that the weather required to make these pickles is not there in other countries where the children may have settled.
The second reason is that time is a very important criteria in today's world. Gone are the days when mothers spent hours doing kitchen chores. Today, men and women do not make that a priority. Which brings me to the point that priorities have changed. And a very big factor is the ease with which ready-made food is available.
While speaking with friends yesterday, we were discussing that Swad, Deep and Sanjeev Kapoor's pickles are really delicious. It has become very convenient to just purchase a bottle from the shelf of an Indian store and you have pickle ready to be eaten. About 10-15 years back, this was not even thought of. It was only mom's pickle that went with the school tiffin box and for meals at home.
Our mothers learnt the art of making pickles, papads, and other annually made recipes from their mothers and their grandmothers and it was on passed on to them also from the generation before them. Some mothers still ask their children what they want to eat and in spring would make that pickle. That's where the pickle making translated from just a task to more than that. It's the sentiment of making so that everyone would enjoy it. Sadly, it won't be very long till the wonderful way of making pickles will be known only by reading in books and the Internet and not be seen as we did.

Doting Dads

2008-11-10T15:04:00.000-08:00

We all come across situations and conversations that take place and they pass by as time goes. But then you still think about those moments and ponder about them. These couple of instances are something on those lines.
My husband and I met a family friend of our relatives over dinner one day. The friend, a person who muse be in his late '50s or early '60s has a daughter who is expecting. His wife passed away nearly fifteen years back. His daughter wanted to eat 'paapdi no lot'. A person with some knowledge about Gujarati food will know that 'paapdi no lot' is a dish that is not easy to prepare. He was absolutely calm about making it and didn't fret at all. He simply said that his daughter wanted to eat it and so he was going to make it.
He didn't have all ingredients to make it, so he took some from our relative. Almost a week or so after this incident, I still think about this incident. The girl is extremely fortunate to have a father who is tending to her needs in such a beautiful manner. I see more and more of how wonderfully fathers of all ages take up responsibilities of their children.
In another incident, a nephew was inviting his uncle to visit the United States. His uncle lost his wife nearly five years back and has two unmarried daughters still. He told his nephew that when he comes to the United States, then like several Indians who visit there, he would need at least three months to meet all relatives and visit places. But then he added that he will be able to do this at ease when both his daughters get married. "I have to get them both married first. Only then can I come there." Yes, it is natural for him to fulfill the responsibility as a parent, but it's a different thing to be so caring and do it with so much love and affection.
We all have our stories of dads and their children or incidences that stay in our minds and we ponder about. Put them in your comments if you feel comfortable about that. This blog is for my dad and all the wonderful dads who reach out to their children in their own special unique way

Of New Acquaintances and More

2008-10-06T11:47:00.000-07:00

College orientations are meant to serve various purposes. Getting your way around a new campus, finishing formalities before college starts and more so, building friendships and networking for different purposes. We know that we'd build friendships either to form bonds that last a lifetime and you know it immediately that you'd click with a particular person. Sometimes you form bonds initially only for selfish reasons - for notes, etc.
My orientation experience at Ohio State University has been unique and enriching in several ways. First of all, I was very proud to see students from India who are absolutely confident and know the way to make their way through formalities. This is not a biased opinion, but something even others from the staff happened to comment on. I was a part of some interesting conversations and some that I happened to hear that I want to share. OSU boasts of a large international student population on campus. I was listening to a conversation that a Bangladeshi gradaute student was having with another Brazilian grad student. "So Brazil is really popular for soccer right? I know that Ronaldo and others play very good soccer, right?" The Brazilian affirmed his new acquaintance's thoughts and asked him, "So is Bangladesh a part of India?"
"No it is not, but it is close to India."
"I asked because you look similar to the Indians."
"Yes, we look similar."
"What about the violence in Bangladesh? Is it as much as Pakistan?"
"No it's not as much, but in the end, what is the point of this violence? I feel it's all about living together and in harmony with the other countrymen than fighting."
That was a statement to ponder about and how I wish politicians too thought this way.
Once the speeches of dignitaries were over, students were networking over cheese and crackers and hummus and pita. We were three Indian girls standing together, exchanging pleasantries that newly acquainted people would. After a while, a very senior executive - both in terms of age and designation walked to us and asked us individually where we were from and what our fields of study were. He was taking the time and effort to talk to as many students as possible. Shortly after he left, one of the girls commented,
"Buddhe ne teen ladkiyon ko saath mein kya dekh liya, toh baat karne aa gaya!" (Barely did the old man see three young girls together and he walked over to chat with us!)
I was stunned at this remark. Although she was fresh from India, I was appalled at the way she read or rather mis-read the man's intention. I felt compelled to clarify that it is routine here for people to inquire how you are doing, especially since they know that you are new to the place.
What stunned me most was this interaction I had with two graduate students from India. After they asked me of my field and where I was from India, and I did the same as well, they asked me where I lived and if I lived with roommates.
I replied that I am married and lived with my husband. There was a brief awkward silence that followed.
One of the boys said, "Oh, you are that kind of a student!" And in the same breath he said, "I thought you were like one of us only who had come to study."
I couldn't help but smile at the thoughts he harbored.
I told him laying special emphasis on 'one of you' 'study', that, "I am like one of you only who has come here to study."
I am glad to have found some good friends also at the orientation and am looking at starting school soon. Keeping my fingers crossed for things to straighten out.

RE-VISITING INDIA IN THE US

2008-09-26T10:07:00.000-07:00

So we all know how popular curry is in the UK and that Canada and the United States have a huge Indian population. But how often have you seen hand-made posters saying '3 sarees for $100' or 'Buy 2 salwar kameez for $100' and '3 for $90'? These are common sights in India, but rest assured, this does happen in the United States also.
And it's not only in India that you try on the attire you want to purchase in India at a semi-posh store. Lo and behold, if you visit an Indian fair here, at times you will see Indian mothers coaxing their daughters to try a kurta on top of their t-shirt and jeans. If like me, you have lived in India for some time, you will find it interesting to watch how similar people's tendencies can be - despite being brought up in two absolutely different countries.
What really caught my attention is how some people had actually simply heaped their clothes in a big haphazard pile. And men and women sift through them, pick them, look at them from top to bottom, imagine how it would look on them and then just drop in the heap to pick another one. So whether you are in Karol Bagh or a crowded market in Ahmedabad or Santacruz market of Mumbai or at an Indian fair/ mela in the US, the common threads of shopping are woven strong and deep to travel across continents. And then comes the food part. That too is replicated a la Indian style. Bottles of Limca and Thums Up are just kept in big-tall containers with ice.
What attracts me to these Indian fairs is getting an opportunity to see these unique things - how some really basic Indian characteristics are there, along with the westernized theme - like 'Learn Punjabi or Kannada or Gujarati in 30 days'.

The City of Mumbai That Is

2008-09-26T10:05:00.001-07:00

When I lived in Mumbai, I used to go home to Baroda almost every fortnight. I used to meet with my friends during the Saturday and Sunday I got and then Sunday night or early Monday morning, I would head back for Mumbai. You know you have entered Mumbai the minute Mira Road station arrived. It’s a different feel altogether. The urgency people have in their steps, the pushing around to rush in the train that arrives every three minutes and the noise – all this and much more tell you that Mumbai has arrived. Whether you are alighting at Borivli, Andheri, Dadar or Mumbai Central station, the situation or rather the chaos is the same. The coolies are jostling to get inside at the same time passengers want to alight and walk towards the exit.
It is chaotic, it is dirty, people do push and you realize how people smell and have a sticky skin, but I still love the city, almost three years after I left it to come to the United States. I became a part of the spirit of Mumbai while I was there and it still lives within me. Mumbai’s made me a more confident, out-spoken person. I learnt one of the most important characteristics inherent to the city – to be street-smart and bindaas. How I love the cool air passing through my hair as I stand next to the compartment door of local trains and the enthusiasm with which the road-side keepers sell their wares – be it fresh vegetables or fruits, or daily home-related things like clothes line, soap bars or even lingerie for that matter.
This is only the beginning of how it feels when you enter this gigantic city. Yet you feel that you are a part of it. Although I have never grown up in Mumbai, I still feel that way. Here’s to the city and the indomitable spirit of it!